Sex and Dating - Funny Articles, Facts and Statistics

Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh." I've heard of eating "out" after sex, but this is a little much.

Safe Sex Alternatives?

All these have been used to make condoms through history: Linen, tortoiseshell, leather, silk, and sheep gut. Kind of gives you an idea why they weren't very "en vogue" for long, eh?

Mosquitoes, which mate in the air, perform a sex act that lasts only 2 seconds. Well, how long is that in the lifespan of a mosquito - for all we know, it could be days.

During the Middle Ages, if you were guilty of bestiality you'd be burned at the stake, along with the other party to your crime. Because, we all know, those sheep/horses/cows/goats/what-have-you were just asking for it!

In ancient Greece and Rome, dildos were made out of animal horns, gold, silver, ivory and glass. I admit it was the animal horn that drew me to this one.

A bull can inseminate 300 cows from one single ejaculation. Er, trying to get a mental image of that one…

Eating the heart of a male Partridge was the cure for impotence in ancient Babylon. Oh no, not Keith! Danny, maybe, but not Keith!

According to the Kinsey Institute, half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal. That's why I had to leave the small towns…

A capon is a castrated rooster. They are said to have more tender meat when cooked, which is why they cost more.

Somebody actually timed a rattlesnake mating session that lasted 22.75 hours. Bored, much?

And finally, a study of pet owners found that 66% claimed they allowed their pets to remain in the bedroom during intercourse. I suppose it's a sense of voyeurism, but - ew! I'd be embarrassed to look my cat in the eye the next day.

What is 'scrotal infusion'?

The scrotum is an enclosed sac. It is possible to inject fluids into the sac and cause it to greatly swell. This is also known as "ballooning" since the engorged scrotum resembles a water balloon. This painless, if bizarre, practice has one side effect that makes it popular among a select few - within twenty-four hours the fluid in the scrotum filters into the penis, expanding it to a quite prodigious girth. It is NOT advisable to try such foolishness.

Can a man have more than two testicles?

You should have figured out by now that the human body is capable of almost any kind of growth anomaly, including multiple testicles, which is known as 'polyorchidism.' This is another extremely rare condition. Most sufferers have three testicles, although four or five have been known to occur. (Interesting note - what about Hitler? He reportedly only had one!)

What can affect the taste of semen?

Some people seem to like the taste of semen, at least during the passion of fellatio, while others detest it. Did you know the taste of semen can change according to several different factors? A man's diet and state of health are two keys to the way his semen will taste. Vegetarians who eat lots of celery tend to have mild semen (as will a man who has ejaculated several times in the past couple of days), while red meat, asparagus, broccoli, and spinach produce sharp-tasting semen. The more sperm in the ejaculate, the sharper the taste will be.

Smoking cigarettes or pot or drinking alcohol make the semen bitter. A diabetic's semen is usually sweet. Combinations of these factors can produce a moderate taste. It is said that a vasectomy imparts a milder taste to a man's semen.

What is a Dork?

No, it's not your boss. This pejorative is really the accepted name of a whale's penis. And it's no ordinary penis. The whales, as you might imagine, have the world's largest penises. The blue whale is the champ, with a ten-foot long member that is one foot in diameter. African bull elephants have nothing to be ashamed of either. They are the land-animal champs, coming in at five- to six-foot-long penises.

How about Some Bizarre Facts About Animal Sex?

The shovel-shaped penis of the dragonfly scoops out the sperm of other suitors.

Porpoises and Dolphins enjoy group sex. (Go Flipper!)

Wild animals, as a rule, don't get VD, although otters can get herpes.

The sperm of a mouse is longer than the sperm of an elephant.

Koalas, iguanas, and Komodo Dragons all have forked penises (split in two).

The rhinoceros penis is two feet long. (Yikes!)

The poor male penguin has only one ejaculation a year.

The raccoon penis has a little bone in it that has been used as a toothpick by some.

The mosquito penis is one-hundredth of an inch.

Minks fornicate for up to eight hours at a time.

Chimpanzees spend no time on foreplay, averaging about three-seconds per copulation. (And some men, so I've heard)

Hamsters can have sex seventy-five times a day.

Shaw's jird (a dessert rat) holds the record for frequency of copulation - up to 224 times in two hours!

The majority of giraffes and turkeys are bisexual.

A gorilla's penis is a mere two inches long. (Sucks to be Mrs. Gorilla huh?)

Like humans, fish practice fellatio. (Smells like tune)

The six-inch long Alpine banana slug has a thirty-two inch penis.

Beavers and hamsters will, on occasion, mate face to face.

Most male birds don't have a penis, but rather holes that pass the sperm to the females.

When a male deer rubs his antlers on a tree, it is a form of masturbation.