Say I Love You anywhere in the world! Now guys have a one page reference guide should you meet a hottie while travelling. Be prepared! We dudes know that it's a sure bet to get some foreign nookie once those magical words are spoken. Make sure you get the correct pronunciation before implementing or it could back fire!
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Your Ultimate Guide to saying I Love You!
HOW TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" IN ALL DIFFERENT LANGUAGES:
How to say "I Love You" in English -- Um, I Love you?
How to say "I Love You" in Spanish -- Te Amo -- Now get me an El Taco!
How to say "I Love You" in French -- Je T'aime -- Are you ever going to shave that?
How to say "I Love You" in German -- Ich Liebe Dich -- Not to be confused with "See my little dick"
How to say "I Love You" in Japanese -- Ai Shite Imasu -- I Shite you not!
How to say "I Love You" in Italian -- Ti Amo -- Just like Spanish, 'cept switch "Taco" with "Pizza"
How to say "I Love You" in Chinese -- Wo Ai Ni -- Also known to work: "Me Love You Long Time"
How to say "I Love You" in Swedish -- Jag Alskar -- AKA "Make money with video production!"
How to say "I Love You" if you find yourself in; Alabama, Arkansas, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas,
Mississippi, North Carolina or Kentucky. . . . . . . . Nice Tits Cuz!
The Grand Master Mulit-Lingo "I Love You" List
- Afrikaans -- Ek is lief vir jou!
- Albanian -- Te dua!
- Amharic -- Afekrishalehou!
- Arabic -- Ohiboke (m to f), Nohiboka (f to m, or m to m)
- Armenian -- Yes kez si'rumem!
- Basque -- Maite zaitut!
- Bengali -- Ami tomake bahlobashi!
- Bosnian -- Volim te!
- Bulgarian -- Obicham te!
- Catalan -- T'estimo!
- Creole -- Mi aime jou!
- Croatian -- Volim te!
- Czech -- Miluji tev!
- Danish -- Jeg elsker dig!
- Dutch -- Ik hou van je!
- Esperanto -- Mi amas vin!
- Estonian -- Mina armastan sind!
- Farsi -- Tora dost daram!
- Filipino -- Iniibig kita!
- Finnish -- (Mä) rakastan sua!
- French -- Je t'aime!
- Frisian -- Ik hald fan dei!
- Galician -- Querote!
- German -- Ich liebe dich!
- Greek -- S'ayapo!
- Gujarati -- Hoon tane pyar karoochhoon! tane chaahuN chhuN!
- Hawaiian -- Aloha wau ia 'oe!
- Hebrew -- Anee ohev otakh (m to f), Anee ohevet otkha (f to m), Anee ohev otkha (m to m), Anee ohevet otakh (f to f)
- Hindi -- Mai tumase pyar karata hun (m to f), Mai tumase pyar karati hun (f to m)
- Hungarian -- Szeretlek!
- Icelandic -- Eg elska thig!
- Indonesian -- Saya cinta padamu!
- Irish -- t'a gr'a agam dhuit!
- Italian -- Ti amo!
- Japanese -- Kimi o ai shiteru!
- Korean -- Dangsinul saranghee yo!
- Latin -- Te amo!
- Latvian -- Es tevi milu!
- Lithuanian -- As tave myliu!
- Malaysian -- Saya cintamu!
- Mandarin -- Wo ai ni!
- Marshallese -- Yokwe Yuk!
- Norwegian -- Jeg elsker deg!
- Polish -- Kocham ciebie!
- Portuguese -- Eu te amo!
- Romanian -- Te iubesc!
- Russian -- Ya tyebya lyublyu!
- Sanskrit -- twayi snihyaami
- Serbian -- Volim te!
- Sesotho -- Kiyahurata!
- Slovak -- Lubim ta!
- Slovenian -- Ljubim te!
- Spanish -- Te amo!
- Swahili -- Nakupenda!
- Swedish -- Jag älskar dig!
- Tagalog -- Mahal kita!
- Thai -- Phom rug khun (Male speaker) Chan rug khun (Female speaker)
- Turkish -- Seni seviyorum!
- Ukrainian -- Ya tebe kokhayu!
- Urdu -- Main tumse muhabbat karta hoon!
- Vietnamese -- Anh yeu em (m to f), Em yeu an (f to m)
- Welsh -- Rwy'n dy garu di!
- Yiddish -- Kh'hob dikh lib!
- Zulu -- Ngiyakuthanda!
Smart Ass Chicks with Contractable Diseases
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a well known Dallas gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at the woman and all of his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately asks her to undress. After she has disrobed, the doctor begins stroking her thigh.
"Do you know what I’m doing?" he asks.
"Yes," she replies. "You’re checking for any abrasions or abnormalities."
"That’s right," says the doctor. Emboldened, he then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"
"You’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer," she replies.
"Correct," says the doctor. Deciding to go for broke, he mounts her and begins having sex with her. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You’re getting herpes and genital warts—which is why I came here in the first place."
When Housewives Get Bored
This guy in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.
"No thank you," she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult," the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."
Defining Women Using a Geographical Analogy
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful
with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to
trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but
can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive
reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but
the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no
future (a bit like Tony Blair, maybe Blair's a women really).
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of a Man
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a dick.
Next Weeks Lesson: How To Say "Excuse me, How Old is your Daughter?" in all Languages
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Weird And Funky Spunky Wild Sex Facts
So, You Want Her To Swallow?
Semen tastes sweeter if you haven't been eating meat. It's also an old wives tale that eating pineapple makes it taste really good.
An Amazing Organ… The vagina is self-cleaning, kind of like the oven. Is that were the term "one in the oven" comes from?.
Production Far Exceeds Demand…
A healthy male's ejaculate contains over 200 million sperm. If every one of these were able to find an egg, the average guy could easily fertilize 5 billion eggs in less than two weeks (this would double the current population of the earth).
Of course, the time required would vary slightly between individuals and be affected by environmental factors like diet and the availability of porn.
The Best Cure For A Headache…
A female orgasm releases endorphins (chemicals released in the brain that give us pleasure) and these are powerful painkillers.
Having a headache is a reason to have sex, not to abstain from it.
So You Think You're The Father…
The more recent Kinsey studies that included genetic testing found one in ten children in America is mistaken about their father's identity.
Also, a British study found that a woman is more likely to become pregnant with a lover rather than her husband, when she's been having sex with both in a given time period and even having sex with her husband more often.
How Many Of Us Are Cheaters?
The results of sex polls are generally inconsistent, but the range of inconsistency on infidelity questionnaires is especially high.
The results of the various Kinsey polls over the last 50 years asking if a person has committed at least one act of extramarital sex have revealed numbers as low as 15% and as high as 65% - and are as inconsistent in the 1950's as they are in the 1990's.
Most Polls show a higher percentage of male infidelity, but some reveal an even percentage, suggesting women are just as likely to cheat.
One thing is certain- there are a lot of liars and unfaithful spouses out there.
Is It As Long As A Baby's Arm?
The average erect penis is six inches in length, although flaccid measurements vary considerably.
The New Way To Hook Up and Fall in Love…
Computers have made it easier to get laid. There is an Internet dating site, boasting over 10 million registered members. Currently 18,000 new people a day join to find someone for a casual affair.
Tips To Last Longer In Bed
Are you tired of being grilled with questions like, "is that it? Are you done?" Good sex is not all about how long you can last, but racing to the finish line is the number one complaint women have about their men. Here are a few tips that can turn any minuteman into a marathon lover.
Get To Know Yourself
Practice makes perfect. If you masturbate concentrating on prolonging your orgasm you will be able to repeat the performance in bed. Whack off as long as you can, as often as you can. Bring yourself as close to orgasm and stop just long enough that you can start all over again and bring yourself back to the same level of ecstasy, then start all over again.
Make a game of seeing how many times as you can bring yourself to the edge without coming and pay attention to the signs and sensations your body gives you that you're about to come. It's possible to train yourself to withhold an orgasm at will, using this method alone.
Foreplay Is A Good Thing
Even though it doesn't really help you to last longer, it can seem like you have lasted longer if you spend more time on foreplay- with her. Make sure that you have touched every square inch of her body before you even lick her pussy. Extend foreplay to the point of driving you both crazy. She'll be a lot more appreciative, even if you do only make it thirty seconds in her pussy.
Be careful about receiving too much foreplay yourself. Every stimulation your cock receives is a queue to get ready to cum, but only in a constant timeline. If it's possible, get her to give you head before you practice your foreplay skills on her. That way you'll have had a little break before she's begging for your cock.
The Best Positions
Everyone has different preferences for positions. There are some that you know will make you come fast and others that seem to just keep you hard. Choose positions that you know aren't your favorite first and when you are finally ready to cum (or just about exhausted) switch to your favorite.
Most men cum quicker doggy style but last longer with missionary and sex lying down on one side (spoon like). Cowgirl style is 50/50- it's strictly a personal preference. Some guys last longer when the woman is on top, some blow their wad as soon as she settles into the saddle.
Condoms Are Your Friend
Despite all the hype and the advertising claims about increased sensitivity, nothing cuts the sensation of sex more than a condom. If you still have trouble coming too fast with one on, wear two. But always remember
to put ono the jacket. You never know what you could catch.
Stay Focused Danielson
Don't let self-fulfilling prophecies work against you, make them work for you.
Remember, sexual stimulation is entirely in your mind. It might be hard to think so when a hot chick is riding you like a bronco, but it's true. You don't have to think about baseball or your grandmother naked (although those both work), but concentrating on not having an orgasm too soon does work, just stay focused. It has to do with the complex relationship our conscious mind has with our unconscious mind.
If you truly convince yourself that you aren't going to cum, you won't. It also works in reverse, so be careful- if you think you're going to cum too soon, you will.
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